Drought before the storm

So, the theory goes that before you conceive, you need somewhat of a male build up. That's great in theory and all, but when you're of child rearing age that becomes a bit difficult. So our drought has begun.

The reasons behind it is that you get not only more, but higher quality sperm all stored up. See, I'm making sacrifices for my kids already and they aren't even conceived! And when they're older and reading this, I'm sure they'll love reading that about their parents.

So other really annoying things I'm doing in prep for the big night include but are not limited to:

• Colder showers: I'm a scolding hot shower kind of guy, but heat kills those bad boys so I'm taking cooler showers than is comfortable with me.
• Exercising: Sure I've written about that, but a fit person is betting at bringing life into this world.
• Chugging Mountain Dew about a half hour before the act: Oddly enough they think a quick burst of caffeine makes the boys a bit faster for a little bit of time. Of course long term use causes them to die...
• Relaxing: See, my wife thinks I'm being lazy but I'm really trying to stay relax, stress is a sperm killer
• Keeping the laptop off my "lap": Heat kills, as I've said before, so the laptop, which gets especially hot when gaming, has been either on a tabletop or on my knees. Not too comfortable, and difficult to read in the morning without my contacts, but I'll do anything for those kids.