Saturday, October 4, 2008

Inheritting a belief system

Something I've been giving thoughts to recently that gives me mixed feelings is will my children believe in the same things I do? There are plenty of things I disagree with my parents on, largely religion and politics.

I guess what's more important is the foundation of those beliefs. I need to learn not to look at just the surface. See, on the surface I don't agree with my parents on some major things, but the underlying beliefs are really what's important.

My parents big theme of raising their children is choice. Give us options. Give us knowledge and guidance, but don't force us into anything. I was given plenty of controlled freedom throughout my childhood. My parents walked a fine line between dictatorship and completely hands off. They let me screw up and learn from my mistakes, but they didn't let me make any game changing mistakes.

So how do I find that line that my parents found that allowed me to discover who I am rather than me being told who I am? I have no idea, and that kind of scares me.

Another aspect of it comes into religion. I grew up going to church, and not liking it. But it did give me a structured belief system, some of that general structure lives on in me today. My wife did not have that religion as a child, and she feels like something was missing. She wants our kids to have religion, and I do not.

I have strong beliefs and I don't like religion. We have yet to come up with a compromise, and I don't know if we will until we have the kid out here in the real world.

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